Only a word in the day of a life…

It has been ages since I’ve written anything here.  Things have been insane.  And expensive.  The head gasket on my car blew.  That sucked, especially the part about us having 1 working car and that was the working car.  It was in the shop for a week.  And then the fridge went.  We’ve been living out of a mini-fridge for two weeks with one left to get before my desired fridge comes through my door.  Damn back orders.  Work has been a frenzy, but not a hated frenzy as in the past.  But still, there’s barely been time to breathe, and what time there was, I was asleep through it.   I had started a new livejournal, that is 100% locked and I update that on a somewhat more frequent basis.  Had to get away from some stuff.  Summer looks to be busy as well.  I don’t know how Shayna does it, with all the soccer games, basketball games, and a thirteen year old daughter amongst her kids.  I feel swamped enough from just work and I know exactly how much she works there!

Ah well, perhaps this summer will yield more writing time, though I doubt it.

Also, props to Amanda for her blue ribbon.  (I am semi-aware of the world around me at times…)

I should have updated this on Thursday, the day I actually finished it, but I have been lazy and enjoying my time off work instead. Slacking, you know.

I’ve officially verified my 5th win at NaNoWriMo. I donated. I bought the t-shirt. I’ve finally slept. I love November.

I have not been posting here about NaNoWriMo, and I should have. I have been tracking my progress and while I am ahead of the curve, I’m not anywhere near where I was in years past. I’m feeling quite badly, but then again, I always do this time of year. But I’m getting an ache inside, which I’ve felt in the past, is different this time.

Well, back to the word grind. I need about 6k words asap.

McCain concedes, Obama wins.

The Senate and the House also have a Dem majority.

The long night has begun. So either this is just an interlude in history, or it truly is the beginning of the end.

Many are jumping with delight, clapping with joy. I sit here with tears falling.

May God carry us through this.

Normally, exercises in prayer I keep to myself. To get to the short of the matter, I have used prayer to get past anger problems. I prayed with charitable thoughts towards someone I was deeply angry with. I admit that the charitable thoughts were forced at first. I didn’t want to be nice to this person, even in my thoughts. But after a while, it got better. I got less angry. I got so far as to be indifferent. Even now, though it feels a little like pity, I have a sad hope that something good will yet come of this person’s life and those of his family.

In this somewhere, I began to hate myself a little less too. For being so angry. For hating. For not being able to let go.

I began to forgive myself.

And the guilt began to fade.

Then, I realized, I was forgiven.